Hi, welcome to my portfolio, I am RICHARD NEWMAN and I, love language…
This is a picture of a kitten… On the interwebz kittens are ethereal mascots which magically make websites attract 10 kagillion ‘Likes’. Because I have cleverly placed it here (the KITTEN), you now like me – this is Neuro Linguistic Programming – resistance is futile.
Statistically speaking there is a 78% chance that you’re now wondering if this is a hoax… it’s not. You can rest easy. To help reassure you here are hyper-text-image-links to some of the awesome clients I have worked with in the past few years. PS – Links are magical spider-smurfs and Google loves them.
I have also worked with a plethora of other clients, including the somewhat more sexy Hawthorn Lifestyle – who make Love Swings – so you might not want to click that link at work… oops!
Let’s talk about me a bit more instead.
I was born in West London in 1978, which was before mobile phones were invented and everyone ‘ate grit off roads for supper’ – at least, according to my dad the northerner. He used to be a plasterer but now he’s a doctor of psychology – he taught me that you can achieve just about anything if you work like a stubborn b@$t@rd. Do you see what I did there? I gave you a snapshot of myself without any exposition. That’s because I’m a good writer.
I get my passion for language from my mum. Back in the sixties she decided she was an artist as she loved painting and poetry and, best of all, books! Every night she would read JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis to me – I wanted so badly to create stories like that! Look at me now mum – I’m famous in cyber-space!
Here is a poem I had published in The Strand Book of International Poets – it’s about Slovenija, where I lived for a few years in my twenties.
I have to admit that, there’s nothing quite so gratifying as opening up a book and seeing your own name there – if you pick it up it’ll naturally fall open at my favourite page. I take pride in my work.
By the way, if you’re wondering ‘Why Slovenija?’ – here is an explanatory diagram for you to click on…
‘Nuff Said – right? So anyway, lately I’ve been writing some guest blogs to attract the old link-hungry spider-smurfs, here’s a few of my recent favourites… (click to read!)
Of course, none of this would be possible without these guys – it took three years of solid hard work (ok 2 months per year for 3 years and then lots of partying?) but I finally made it through – no mean feat for a mature student!
Most of all, I’d like to give ‘a shout out’ to Brand Putty because they really made me the copywriter I am today. The team there really allowed me to get creative with my ideas and play with language to my heart’s content. More than that however, the best service they did was to teach me to edit circa 10-20% off whatever I write – there’s always some crap that needs to be cut. You should probably check out their website as I wrote it…
Outside of work I have a few other interests apart from writing… below is an infographic I designed which illustrates these various interests in a more visual format. Did you know that looking at a picture is 70% easier than reading a paragraph? No? That is because I made it up… But you get my gist…
Well, I hope my humour hasn’t offended anyone – but if it has – I’m not sorry – because my aim here is to make you remember me. The arrogance, the lewdness, the frivolity… It’s all designed to stick in your mind so that your thoughts keep coming back to me.
“Is this the guy we should hire?”
To which your own mind replies…
“Yes! We should hire Richard Newman, because he is a great writer!”